Scott Andrew - lo-fi acoustic pop superhero!

Having finally heard the now-infamous Gene Simmons interview on NPR’s Fresh Air program, I have to say this: despite the fact that Simmons is truly vain and obnoxious, I can’t help but think that interviewer Terry Gross was expecting this to be a joke interview (aw look, the big bad rock star with the scary makeup wrote a book, how cute!), not realizing that Simmons is indeed an unapologetic, larger than life, shoot-you-with-my-love-gun rock star. I mean, “did your makeup ever cause your skin to break out?” What kind of dang fool question is that, anyway?

Anyone who knows anything about KISS’ history knows they don’t do it for the music. These are guys who wanted a certain lifestyle (one with lots of cash, women and fame) and they went out and got it. They’ve never denied this, ever. Gross made a fatal mistake of believing Simmons would be sheepish about the makeup, the comic books, the sexual conquests — in short, that Simmons the Rock God is not Simmons the Sensitive Person Beneath It All (also known as the Howard Stern Effect). Oh, so wrong. Listening to the typically straightlaced Gross squirm as Simmons chuckled and lobbed one off-color remark and bad pun after another (most of which she should have just brushed off), was the highlight of my rather dismal week.

Perhaps if Gross hadn’t expected Simmons to conduct himself like a foreign ambassador, diehard NPR listeners wouldn’t be clutching their chests and falling out of their chairs. Simmons may be an egomaniac, but he’s no poseur.

That old parable about knowing a snake is a snake before you bring it into your house comes to mind.

By the way, Gene Simmons has a weblog, sorta.