Scott Andrew - lo-fi acoustic pop superhero!

When musicians end up having to spend some time coaxing an instrument into tune, we call it “the Tuning Song.” The Tuning Song is equal parts nervous banter, awkward pause, and desperate attempts to get the B string to stay in tune, dammit! Everyone knows the Tuning Song.

I played my last show of the year last night at the Trabant Chai Lounge, a neato little venue near the University of Washington. I tried out two new songs I’ve been working on, and managed to break another pick during one of them. It’s bad enough when you’re playing a song for the first time and trying to remember all the lyrics and chord changes, but to do that while rotating a broken pick to the unbroken side while strumming is not especially fun.

Shawn Lentz opened and turned in a great set, as well as a few creative variations of the Tuning Song.

Shawn (onstage, tuning): damn, I need a bunch of guitars up here, all tuned differently so I don’t have to do the Tuning Song so much. Hey Scott, how many tunings you use?

Me: uhh…one.

Shawn: jerk.

Audience: play some more tuning!

I wonder if there’s a market for a CD of Tuning Songs, where the tracks are just the artist tuning and the crowd reaction to whatever excuse pops out of the artist’s mouth at the time.

Also overheard at last night’s show:

Me: Thanks, I’m Scott Andrew. I have CDs for sale over there, if you’d like to take some songs home.

Audience: (Utter and complete silence)

Me (still on the mic): …you know, there should be a better way to do the whole “CDs for sale” announcement thing. I mean, all the music biz books tell us to “ask for the sale,” but then it comes out like, “duhhh, I have a CD, please buy it…” I feel like such a tool.

Shawn: Yeah.

Me: You know, Slayer is playing in town tonight. I’ll bet they don’t “ask for the sale.” Then again, I’d buy their CDs out of fear and intimidation.

Shawn: Maybe it’s that whole “satanic” thing they got goin’ on.

Me (sighing): Slayer is not satanic. They just sing about it a whole lot.

Which is, when I think about it, the same excuse I gave an ex-girlfriend about Mötley Crüe’s Shout At The Devil.