Even though I think I’m pretty good at it now, I still find breaking down “I’m confused about X” into specific questions about X takes work. For example, I only came up with those questions about Rust references 3 years after I’d first used Rust. The reason it took so long is that I had to decide to actually sit down, notice what I found confusing, and focus on figuring out what I was confused about. That takes time!
But I do think that this is something that you can get better at over time. I’m much better at breaking down what’s confusing to me about a programming thing than I was and much more able to unstick myself.